Disclaimer: What I might talk about is based on my own opinions and might hit some areas that are sensitive to some people. So just remember not to take it personally. This are only my opinions.
Note: If you or someone you know may have some serious issues and “dark thought,” I strongly recommend you contact this group and seek professional help as soon as possible.
To be angry is to be humanPadme, Star Wars: Episode 2
It’s normal for people to get mad, its something that happens to every living being on this planet. We get angry through any means, sometimes it could be having a bad day over an unfortunate losing streak in a video game. Maybe you feel like you’re losing control of everything like unable to get a job or sudden changes that you might not. Folks can understand this feeling, though out there, some people have something boiling inside that just takes that one trigger. For some people like me, who are high functioning autistic, that anger can become a real big problem (though luckily it never escalates for some people.) It can be a very VERY serious issue for those who might be seeking an intimate other, seeking employment and even feeling real happiness. For your boy here, it’s kinda like being Bruce Banner, having a monster inside you that doesn’t tolerate anything but wanting to bash and smash those that hurt it. This is what your boy really feels happens from time to time. It sucks so damn much for people like myself, though for the anger, it can come in various means. Some people explode on the press of a button, others build up and like a super volcano of rage that could lead to some dangerous things such as the dreaded “Dark thoughts.” Thoughts that can scare every person that ever had them enter their minds like an invasive whisper or moldy conspiracy. It can affect everyone regardless of sex, race or even social status.
A lot are wondering what are these “Dark thoughts”? They are the thoughts that usually cross your mind that can vary between harming others or harming themselves due to what some might feel is a loss of control or, worse, a revelation that they could be a monster. Maybe one bad day too many or other factors that can be catalysts, either way, anger can suck once those dark, inky blots that creep into the mind. The only scary factor after that is the fear of the “Dark thoughts” becoming a reality. It’s there that some fear of becoming the monster they fear and, in that slump, some do feel hapless and hopeless. Other times, some’s dark thoughts go to a point to where someone might think that they would be better if they just “dissapear” Thanos-style and that’s that. It’s stuff like that which can scare and disturb the person who has those thoughts and it really does suck.
So what does someone do when the monster is there and creeps into your mind? How do you restrain the beast inside you and keep it in control? One is that there’s still time to control it and that you’re not as powerless as one thinks they are in this situation. Second, you don’t have to face this alone, luckily people have friends and family that care for you and for those who may feel alone, you got groups like the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and SAMHSA who can provide actual professional help, and probably find some reason to help you fight the issue (your boy strongly suggests always look for expert advice) and some hospitals can provide psychiatry medical help that can benefit. These guys are the best to helping you deal with that monster.
Finally, remember these words: Nobody is a monster they think they are, no matter what they think they are. Only you have that power to help yourself, find support and get some assistance to combat these things, and keep the monster inside at bay once and for all. Sure it may suck, it may take a while to recover, but with a good support group and help, you can make a difference.
Thanks for listening to this short little mumble I’ve had, and I hope
people out there who may have the same issues I have, remember these words a
friend of mine told me: You are no monster, and you have control of the beast
Also, remember that you do not have to fight this alone.